


It hits you hard

by HobbitBraids



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Anders has grown on me, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Disfunctional family dynamics, F/M, He needs all the cuddles, I Don't Even Know, I am very bad at titles, It might have another chapter, title is a work in progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 20:06:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12614416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitBraids/pseuds/HobbitBraids
Summary: Anders thought he could be better. No matter how hard he tries it always ends shitty.





	It hits you hard

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this pop into my head. It was supposed to be a light angsty short thing but it turned on me as I kept writting (I swear I love Anders and just want to hug him and make him feel loved). Cheers!
> 
> *I do not own any of this. Not betaed.

    "Fuck", he sighed defeated. He let his forehead hit the wall next to the intercom. "I'm done."

     That was that.

     He walked around the corner, peered into his fish tank and put both hands on the island counter to steady himself waiting for her to to give up calling his name. Silence.

     "It's all gone to shit."

     He was way past pissed and that in itself was a bad sign.  _It was still the right thing to do,_ he thought, _he would have fucked it up eventually._ Yes, the drinking (to numb the world away) and the dismissal through the com.  _He sure as hell didn't deserve her worry._

     He had not wanted her to hear there was somebody else in his flat but,  _fuck_ , these girls he brings home on his worse days tend to be needy talkers.

     "Fuck," he muttered under his vodka infused breath. _There was no going back from that._

     It had been a welcomed change to his usual bang'em and ditch'em routine.  _Almost three months of normal, no pressure conversations, walks to nowhere in particular, hell, he even took time out of his day to go read to a bunch of her anklebiters at her school. His hand had become his pricks best friend._ He made a noise between a scoff and a laugh. _Anders Johnson and self restraint were not well acquainted._

Of course his brothers were skeptical. _Bloody hell, he didn't even know what 'normal' looked like. Mom and dad were so far from it, that was clear. Mike and Valerie?_

     He rolled his eyes as he tried to go around to the sink.  _Whoa. Steady cowboy._ He tried again two more times before he made it, and only by holding on to the counter. He hunched over on said sink. 

      _Why was this so important? He didn't_ need _a relationship. They were not dating._

True, he couldn't think of any other female (aside from Dawn) whom he'd willingly spend time with if he wasn't getting anything out of it (mainly sex but,  _hey_ ) let alone share his feelings with them. That's why his brothers, Mike and Ty for the most part since Axl (after killing him over the whole Gaia/Idun thing) generally showed upto linger and scoff in the background (if he showed up at all), had started asking questions.  _They couldn't leave well enough alone._  

     "Fuuuuck!" He yelled as he swept the few objects next to the sink to the floor, almost losing his balance in the process. At the crash he heard what's her name mutter a 'What the hell?' from the bedroom.

     "I did not bring you here to nap!" He snapped. "I'm done with you, just get the fuck out! Now!"

      There was a shuffle in the bedroom and a few minutes later whatever her name peeked around the corner of the fish tank.

      "What the fuck is _wrong_  with you?" She supplied with an annoyed face.

       "Get. Out." Anders said again as he took a swigg from the vodka bottle he had taken out of the fridge.

       "Whatever," rolling her eyes and leaving with an audible slam of the door.

         _Why did he care so much? She was just another one of the many he'd known._ Shit. _She had gotten under his skin. Dawn's friend who knew exactly how to handle him when they met at Dawn's party._ She had taken none of his bullshit and ,surprisingly, was not offended by his mere presence (even knowing his reputation).

                            *        *        *

    " ** _You sure take your barmaid costume in stride," he smirked, eyeing her from head to toe. "Just a mustache away from completing that whole Shrek vibe."_**

**_"Ah, Mr. Boss, I pressume." She responded in a happily condescending tone as she walked behind the bar to get a beer. "Dawn said you might make an appearance." And she quirked an eyebrow. "I suppose I should take offense at your lack of interest." She smiled knowingly. "I've heard plenty to be too surprised." She took a sip of her beer._ **

**_"Well,_ that _seems like a rather unfair advantage," he quipped back with mock indignation. "Just as well since manly and average are not big turn ons." He smiled, showing off his dimples, and winked triumphantly, but for some unknown reason waited for a response._**

**_"Good to know because I hate going down on dwarves." At that, she took a large swigg of her beer, walked around the bar saluting him as she headed to join a tall guy in a firefighter outfit who turned to smile at her, putting his arm around her. Anders just followed her with narrowed eyes, rooted to the spot._ Seriously,  _he thought, shaking his head. He didn't know why he'd even bothered. Ty had sneaked up on him while he was still observing the redhead._**

**_"That one is off limits mate."_** **_Anders jumped at Ty's voice. "You'd get in a lot of trouble if you screw her over," he added, gesturing towards said redhead._ **

**_"Just making my rounds." Anders tried to sound aloof but, somehow, he was slightly more intrigued. It was not lost on Ty._ **

**_"You've found a challenge."_**

**_It was a statement, his tone a mixture of dissapointment and warning. Anders flashed his dimpled smile._ **

**_"Don't," he insisted. "Just don't," shaking his head._ **

**_"Meh," was Anders response, putting one hand in his pocket and making a placating gesture with his beer holding hand. "Relax, lil' bro."_ **

**_*         *         *_ **

A week later the redhead had walked into the office looking for Dawn, whom he had sent on a routine coffee run. 

        _How could he resist?_

She was having none of it, she was feisty (which, in his opinion, more than made up for averageness). She didn't even give him a chance to use his powers. Although, in hindsight, he never really tried and he never got the urge to do so with her. He wanted her to actually like him, gods knows why and, in rising to the challenge as a mortal, had gained a real friendship all on his own. He was pretty proud of not having used the easy way out, even though it meant she wasn't putting out either.

       "Fuck." It was becoming a sort of chant tonight and not in the good sense. He took another drink. It tasted like nothing going down. This was all her fault because she had seen through him and he had given in too easily. She wanted to help unfuck his existence.

      He wanted to  _be_ wanted, not for a tumble or whatever. That was his problem, the here and now.  _Don't think of the morning, simply have someone to warm your bed so your life won't feel so empty._ She had read him like an open book and that had lifted a weight off of his shoulders. He had affected her too. The quirky school teacher with a silver tongue and wit to rival his anyday. She never admitted that what they had was a 'dating' relationship (they flirted for sure but it had never gotten beyond that, not that he wasn't itching too). Somehow it became exclusive (if you didn't count the relationship between his hand and his cock most nights). She listened to his incessant babbling about everything and anything (like he tends to do). He was surprised at how he also learned to listen. She knew. Even went as far as scolding his brothers for using him and then blaming him for being a prick. It had been a dare while under the influence of too many shots. He could have made any crap up. What had compelled him to tell her about his worries pertaining to his brothers (god buisness aside) was beyond him.

       It had been Ty who had called him to the bar. It was always Ty.

         ' _Maybe, instead of telling him what an arsehole he always is, thank him.'_

Apparently those had been the exact words she had told them a couple of days before.That had been Mike's opening line when he came into the bar earlier that evening. He chuckled and lost his balance but managed to steady himself with a hand on the side of the fridge. Some vodka sloshed on the floor.

      "It'll be a cold day in hell before anybody thanks Anders," he said at noone in particular, naked and drunk as he was.

        _I have to apologize,_ he thought. Isn't that a foreign concept to him. He had apologized for the Shrek quip, he had made a concious decision after she had left his office that first time.  _Call her tomorrow and explain. Take the fallout in stride._

      She knew and she had made it clear to his brothers.

                            *         *          *

         " _ **He**_ _ **wants your approval." Mike had continued in that mock girly voice. "The only way he manages to get any of your attention is by being a douche. It seems as a default setting for not looking weak or small, for that matter."**_

_**His brothers laughed it up as Mike related her words back to him. Even Ty. It hurt, but he had put up his stoic wall and reacted in his normal Anders way (or so he thought). They just had to take it further.** _

_**"So now you have your very own keeper?" Mike uttered in a sing song voice. "Anders Johnson is precious, being an arse is just for attention." Anders knows he should be over this after so many years. Mike was clearly tipsy but it still stung.** _

_**"The sex has to be mindblowing, lil' bro if she has you spilling all your deepest secrets."** _

_**Something in Anders features must have changed because Ty suddenly sobbered up and stepped between him and Mike. Axl was trying (unsuccessfully) to muffle his laughter.** _

_**"That's enough Mike." Ty said, holding one hand to each of his older siblings.** _

_**"Oh, so now it's not funny anymore, eh?" Anders spat at Ty.** _

_**"We just wanted to have a go and chat about where all this" he made a vague gesture with his hand at the air, quickly lowering it in case one of his brothers tried to lunge at the other, "is going. How do you expect us to react when you've been sharing all these" he paused, searching (and failing) for the right word, "** _ **things _with her and then she comes acusing us of being the shitty ones."_**

**_Anders could feel his chest getting tighter and the way he clenched and unclenched his fists didn't go unnoticed. He was a mess._ **

**_"I vented my frustrations while drunk." Anders' voice was smooth and collected but the venom was palpable none the less. "It wasn't supposed to get back to_ you."**

**_"Look at that!" Mike slapped his knee and continued, "Lil' Anders sharing his feelings."_ **

**_That was it. These past months had been so out of character for him, at least the person he had allowed himself to become if only for self preservation._ **

**_"You know what, Mike? Maybe it is time to come clean in all this crap." His voice was still steady and precise, though a little louder than before. "I do have a legitimate good thing and that just fucks with your head." He shook his head. "How could anybody, knowing my reputation, actually stand to be around me willingly longer than five seconds and not be coerced into sex," he scoffed self deprecaitingly. "Yes, Mike. I did find the one person willing to put up with me for me and be in a relationship with the dickhead who is Anders Johnson." He sighed. "It scares me to know all my insecurities and worries are out for the world to see but it's worth it for a chance to be loved. For once." His jaw clenched._ **

**_"Anders?" The atmosphere had changed halfway, everyone had frozen. Now he knew why._ **

**_At some point in these past months hearing her say his name had become something to look forward to. No matter her mood. This time it was like a shot to the head._ **

**_"Fuck," he muttered as he turned. Axl let out a distant 'Busted' and Ty is there before Anders can react. The blonde Johnson pushes his younger sibling and takes off through the door not looking back._ **

**_He barely registers a 'I think you've done enough.' before he gets in his car and speeds off, watching as her figure gets smaller in the rearview mirror._ **

**_"To hell with this."_ **

**_He takes out his cell and dials a random number from his contacts (not really looking at the name) until a female voice answers and agrees to meet him at his flat._ **

*        *        *

        He hardly remembers chugging down the rest of the bottle but it's gone and the room is spinning. _I should be able to make it to the couch. I need to lay down_. 

            Anders steadies himself for a second, setting the empty bottle on the counter. He gives a tentative step and forgets about the spilled vodka on the floor. As he goes down his hand misses the counter but his head doesn't. The audible  _thump_ of the side of his head colliding with the counter surprises him for not even half a second as everything goes black before he even hits the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I really, really love Anders. I don't know what happened in the process.


End file.
